I've been trying to lose weight all my life. Sometimes I got serious, sometimes I jumped off the wagon with both feet and let it all go to hell in a handbasket.
I got serious and started this journey toward healing when I got diagnosed with cancer and diabetes in the same year. It made me realize I had to do something or I was going to die. Literally. I was only 52 years old and I could see a ghastly death ahead of me with foot amputations and chemo and radiation and all sorts of modern medical horrors.
I almost died after my cancer surgery, not from the cancer, but from infected incisions that wouldn't heal. My diabetes and high blood sugars were feeding the cancer and the bacteria. I became completely antibiotic resistant.
I finally found natural supplements that got me through that season of infection and I survived. But I still wasn't consistent with how I was eating. I'd still have times where I'd jump off the wagon with both feet.
I haven't talked much about how sick I am, but it really came home to me this past couple of months just how sick I really still am. I had the beginnings of another in a series of infections. Because I'm antibiotic resistant, it's pointless for me to go to the doctor. Only an arsenal of supplements and essential oils can touch my infections. But this time they weren't working. The infection must have gotten up into my kidneys. I was in excruciating pain and peeing 20 times a day, waking up 10 times a night to pee. Nothing I have learned to do was working this time.
That's never happened.
I must have crossed a threshhold with the infection and I couldn't reverse it and was considering going to the emergency room for some IV antibiotics to see if they might help. I was trying all sorts of new things. Nothing was working. I was so dizzy when I stood, I could barely walk to the bathroom to pee. I was getting scared.
See what happened was, I got distracted and and stopped taking care of myself. I wasn't even checking my blood sugars. When I finally did, they were in the 400s. That's when I started back in earnest with my research and healthy eating. That's when I started this blog to help keep myself accountable and to keep track of the stuff I already knew and the stuff I was still learning. Within a couple weeks, my blood sugars were back down to normal--without insulin.
But the infection wouldn't go. I'd let it go too far.
I was crying with a friend and her sister about it and they prayed for me so fervently. I know prayer works, but I just wasn't feeling it when I got off the phone with them. I was too sick. I worried maybe my kidneys were beginning to fail. The spectre of dialysis terrifies me. That's what happens to diabetics eventually, though, and I know that. I've really been worried that I've reached that point. I was worried too that the cancer might be back and compromising my immune system, and that's why I couldn't heal the infection.
Just a few hours after I got off the phone with my friend and her sister, I noticed I hadn't gone to the bathroom in over two hours. The pee-ing every 15 minutes was just gone. It just stopped. Suddenly. I hadn't taken anything new. I'd been eating really healthy and I'd added some new supplements, but they hadn't had a chance to kick in, and even if they had, they couldn't just SUDDENLY arrest my symptoms like that. I realized it changed after that phone call and the prayer of my two friends.
Now I believe in God, and I've had God work miracles--crazy miracles--in my life. Never, though, has it been that sudden, that immediate, on such an insurmountable medical problem.
I know God. I watched God bring my dad back after a massive heart attack and after seemingly fatal sepsis, but it was more subtle, gradual, over a period of days or at least hours. This was a sudden, instanteous arrest of my symptoms.
I pondered it with wonder. What I came to was this: I think God was telling me: Yes, Donnagail, you need to eat healthy, you need to research the herbs and plants and oils that I have given you for healing, but you need to keep in mind that I am the Great Physician and I can heal you even when you pass the point where nothing else can heal you.
I think God reminded me of this right now in such a noticeable way because he wanted me to share this with all of you on the blog. He wanted you to know that he can heal you too even when you pass the point where nothing else can heal you.
I'm still eating healthy, still taking my supplements, and I still feel a pain my lower back that shows me I'm still fighting the infection and need to continue to be vigilant with the task of healing my body.
But God did something that made it turn the corner and begin healing. Something major and sudden and powerful. Something I could not do, no matter how hard I tried. That's what God specializes in. Doing what we cannot do for ourselves.
Maybe you can't stop eating pastries or drinking soda. Maybe you can't afford the supplements I talk about. Maybe you don't think there is any hope for you. Maybe you've tried and failed a million times.
Try again. And this time whisper a prayer as you try.
Don't forget that there is help beyond our worldly measures. Whisper a prayer when you try to give up sodas, when your doctor says the tumor is inoperable, when hope seems lost on any level.
We do have a power greater than ourselves to call upon. We have to do our part, he won't do it for us, but he will help us when we have done all we can do (or when we are so low we can't do anything at all) and are sinking fast. That's right when God sweeps in and miracles can happen.
Just my thought for today.
Pass it on.